


No Ill Will

by Castiloar



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Mild Language, Sickfic, background stormpilot, in which Ren is a drama queen who swoons on Rey's couch, shows back up a year later with a guilty smile and apologies...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-06-06 06:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6743953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiloar/pseuds/Castiloar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey peeked out to find Ren typing away on his phone, presumably emailing Snoke.  “Tell him you have the plague.  Or that an undergrad has captured you and is holding you hostage.  She will only release you in exchange for raising her roommate’s GPA.  He has the kind of pull that he could probably do that,” she smirked, leaning on the kitchen doorframe. </p><p>His face set into a resigned expression before tapping his phone with a final flourish, sending whatever excuse he made.  She almost jumped when he squarely met her gaze.  “Me?  Your hostage?  I’d almost think you like having me here.”  Even with the phlegm he managed to drop his voice low enough to make the quip weigh heavy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [milkforthesouffles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkforthesouffles/gifts).



> My advanced apologies for any mishandling of engineer curriculum and terminology, it has been used as sparsely as possible to try to avoid blunders. I live the arts/social science student life and took very, very soft science courses to meet the requirements of my undergrad. We will pretend Ren likes the theoretical world, and thus stayed on to do his PhD in some manner of engineering physics.

Rey had the story all worked out. 

She knew exactly what she was going to say to Finn or Poe if either of her roommates returned unexpectedly.  Usually they were fairly true to their schedules, but if there was going to be a day that they showed up out of the blue, it would of course be this one. 

Why? 

Because Kylo Ren was sprawled on their goodwill sofa.  Head reclined lazily with that great hair draping in such a way that was worthy of a damn photoshoot.

Yes, Kylo Ren.  Infamously ill-tempered PhD candidate who was stupidly well funded by some private scholarship and a research grant from the First Order. 

Kylo Ren, the personal protégé of his thesis supervisor, Professor Snoke, a man renowned even among undergrads for grooming students he deemed promising in his image. 

Kylo Ren.  He who had nearly crippled Finn’s academic career in his first year when Finn had unwittingly taken a course that Ren happened to be a teaching assistant for.  Rey could still remember the branding remarks that Ren had left slashed across Finn’s final exam. 

Kylo Ren, the man whose gaze and offers of work as his research assistant she had stoically avoided for nearly two years after accidentally impressing him on the same final exam that had nearly ended Finn.

Kylo Ren, the dark peacock who managed to draw the stares of almost all those inclined towards the male sex, if only for a moment.  Somehow strutting his way into their notice despite the bad attitude and wardrobe which rarely left the greyscale.

So - what was the story? 

The story was simply that Rey was a good person, and refused to let his brooding arse end up collapsed on the ground outside.

She almost choked on her tea when she peered out the front window to see Ren leaning heavily against the fence of her house’s tiny front yard.  Watching him for a moment, she dared to put the mug down and wander outside, padding barefoot across the short distance from her doorway to the small fence gate.

One look and it was clear he was running a fever.  His sniffling audibly belayed his congestion.  And the bags under his eyes stood out remarkably against his pale skin.

“You okay?” she asked against her better judgement, already knowing the answer.  He shook his head, not even bothering to pretend.

“You want to sit down for a minute?”

“I have a meeting with Doctor Snoke,” he all but groaned, deep voice distorted by stuffed sinuses.

“Yeah, you aren’t going to make it the rest of the way to campus if your current dependence on my fence is any indication,” she told him, almost smugly.  He sighed, face drooping into an expression of defeat she never would have thought he could manage.

She jerked her head towards her open door, unlatching the fence’s gate.  He appraised her openly for the first time since she’d started talking to him before slouching his way towards the house.  If she hadn’t already known, his poor posture would have given away how awful he was feeling.  None of the usual bravado she definitely never admired or even noticed.

The small house she shared with Finn and Poe opened right into the living room, and Ren sagged into the couch as Rey came behind him, closing the door.

“You get that checked out?” she asked politely, completely unsure of what was supposed to happen next because Kylo bloody Ren was in her house, sitting on her sofa, and was obviously feeling like shit.

“Flu.  It might feel like a second coming of the plague, but it is just the flu,” he muttered.

“If it was the plague you wouldn’t be stuffed up, and probably would be sporting buboes on your neck or under your arms.” His confusion won out over his tiredness, lighting his eyes that were cast on her as she shrugged.  “I took one of my social science requirements in medieval history during second year.”

“Oh, look at the devoted engineer branching out-” he tried to jeer back, largely succeeding until he had to cover his nose awkwardly with his hand.  He blushed when she offered him a box of tissues, taking a handful in silence. 

“I’ll leave you the whole box,” she chirped, setting it daintily on his knee.

A few what must have been embarrassing honks later, and he scowled before throwing his legs up onto the couch and lounging carelessly across it.

“Hey!  I asked if you wanted to sit down, not spread out like an angsty, germ-ridden poet contemplating your insignificance!  Get your feet off my couch!” 

He managed a laugh at that, leveling her with a grin more on par with his usual demeanour.  “This isn’t how you talk to someone who is sick you know.”  His tone held little bite even if the words were meant to burr, and he did bend his knees, untying his oxfords and placing them neatly on the floor.

“I wouldn’t know, actually,” she grumbled, turning her back uncomfortably on him and picking up her abandoned mug, swirling the last dregs of the now cold tea.

“Rey?”

He had only said her name a few times, but she could remember each instance.

The first had been when he was handing back the exam Finn had failed so badly.  The second had been right on the first’s heels, when he had asked to see her after he had finished.  The terror that filled her… Finn had been in a different section of the course, but remembering what had happened with him she could only wonder what manner of evil Ren had in store.  She could only have done horribly if he actually wanted to _talk_ to her about it.

But she hadn’t.  He had called her _brilliant_ , called her use of Newton’s laws and application of force to motion outstanding.  And then he had offered her a summer job as his research assistant, a position he assured her would offer her a chance to learn rather than simply be locked away hunting footnotes for him through endless journal articles.

Her refusal had been almost instant and his fury hot on its heels.  She had left him seething, feeling very confident of her choice in that moment.  The miserable summer and meager pay as an activity coordinator at Camp Ahch-To (most staff called it Camp Achoo behind the boss’ back, given all the colds the rainy island produced among its inhabitants) had left her occasionally regretting her decision.

The third time was at a department Christmas party.  She had never wanted to be there in the first place.  It was invitation-only to the undergrads and no one else she knew had gotten a fancy bit of letterhead handed to them.  Finn and Poe had convinced her to go for the free food if nothing else.  Within ten minutes of being stuffed into the room full of expensive suits and revealing dresses, she had slugged a tipsy Master’s student who did not seem to understand “no” and “do not touch me.” 

Ren had appeared, calling her name.  She had been afraid that he would chew her out, defend the grad student, but instead he asked if she was alright.  She nodded awkwardly, watching the letch slink away, hiding the blood leaking from his nose.  Ren seemed to approve of what she had done, lingering in front of her for a moment.  He caught her eyes wandering over him and let her look, allowing the strange force to rise between them, before Professor Randd, one of Snoke’s clique within the department, interrupted them.

“Rey?” he asked again, constituting the fifth use of her name.

She had to stop that. If he said it again, she’d need both hands to count the total.  “Hmm?”

“You’ve never had anyone really look after you before, have you?”  It was less of a question than it should have been.  Rey valiantly plastered a passive look on her face, shrugging.  “I’m out of tea.  Want a cup?” she asked.

His pity was something she never wanted, and had never thought she would see.  He opened his mouth and she fled to the compact kitchen, calling back, “Orange peako okay?  We have green tea, too - I think.  Need to do some shopping…”  She trailed off.  Her paycheque from her part time job should be clearing this week, and then she could think about restocking on frivolous things like tea.  If her budget allowed.

“I have to meet Doctor Snoke in-” he paused, presumably checking the time.  “Thirteen minutes.”

“Well whatever you do, you aren’t making it to Tarkin Hall by then.  Twenty four-minute walk from here at best, assuming you catch all the lights, and there’s no bus to campus till half past the hour.”

She could hear a groan.

“Orange pekoe or green?” she repeated, setting the kettle to boil.

“Whatever you are having.” 

She peeked out to find him typing away on his phone, presumably emailing Snoke.  “Tell him you have the plague.  Or that an undergrad has captured you and is holding you hostage.  She will only release you in exchange for raising her roommate’s GPA.  He has the kind of pull that he could probably do that,” she smirked, leaning on the kitchen doorframe.

His face set into a resigned expression before tapping his phone with a final flourish, sending whatever excuse he made.  She almost jumped when he squarely met her gaze.  “Me?  Your hostage?  I’d almost think you _like_ having me here.”  Even with the phlegm he managed to drop his voice low enough to make the quip weigh heavy.

“It feels odd I guess.  You are always kind of unreal… untouchable,” she turned away, watching the kettle since that would, much like watching paint dry, make it boil faster. 

She heard him pry himself off of the couch, stopping just short of crowding her.  “I’m not untouchable to you, Rey.” 

Damn.  There it was.  The sixth time.  So much for only using one hand.  She dismissed him with a slight huff, digging through the cupboard for a mug that no one would care if he used before tossing a teabag in.  He lingered in the doorway, watching her.

“You’ve never had anyone really look after you before, have you?” he echoed. 

“Does it matter?”  The kettle whistling made him grimace, giving her a brief moment before he continued.  “Given that you seem to want to avoid talking about it, I would hazard a guess that it does.”

She pushed the steaming mug into his hand.  “Milk?” 

He shook his head.  “I take my tea and coffee black.” 

“Noted.  Hot beverages are taken just like your wardrobe and match your usual disposition,” she added absentmindedly, rooting behind a carton of orange juice for the milk jug.

He let out a nasally huff behind her.  “Your bedside manners also blend with this trend seamlessly.”

“You’re in my kitchen, not m- not in a bed.”

He chuckled deeply, the sound rumbling for a moment before leaving her to a short and stuttered silence.  “Obviously you can’t have much by way of family.  But what about your two sidekicks?  I’ve seen how protective of you they are.  Surely they would take care of you if you let them.”

The milk jug was left beside her tea as she deflated.

If she let them?  Sure they would.  “I grew up bouncing around foster homes,” she told him quietly.  “I’m not very good at depending on someone else.  I always had to rely on me.  You learn that lesson pretty quick.”  He said nothing, putting the milk away for her as she rued over her tea.  “Finn and Poe - they’d probably be happy to help but I usually just hide as best I can if I’m out of it.”

There is was again, the beginning of the look of pity. 

“I have gotten better though - it was hard to trust them at all at first,” she added quickly, unsure of why she needed to defend her friendship. 

“I’m not very good at depending on other people either,” he told her quietly, almost secretly.  His half smile disappeared behind his mug as he raised it to take a sip.  Rey nodded in reply, unsurprised at what he said but not expecting to have heard him say it.

“If I promise to keep my shoes off of the couch, can I sit down again?” he asked a moment later. 

“I suppose I can allow it,” Rey replied with a fake haughtiness.  He half sprawled again, watching as Rey sat back down to where her books colonized the entirety of the table they rarely ate at.

Silence settled not entirely uncomfortably between them, punctuated by the setting down of mugs and the turning of pages.  Rey started when Ren grunted, jumping slightly.  “Snoke is not happy,” he muttered darkly, staring at his phone screen.

“Careful, you didn’t call him ’Doctor,’” Rey joked, unsure of why she was trying to lighten his mood.  Snoke’s pretentiousness at insisting he be called “Doctor” had irked her from the start.  Was “professor” really not good enough for him?    

Ren sighed dramatically.  Letting the phone drop on his chest.  “What are you studying for?”

“Fluid mechanics,” she told him idly.

“Do you want help?” 

She almost inhaled the tea she had sipped, sputtering and turning quickly so as to not dribble on her notes. 

He quirked an eyebrow at her, bemused face speaking as loudly as his words might have.  “I am doing my PhD.  You might not like me, but I do know what I am doing, Rey,” he finally added quietly.

“You’re not well,” she waved off haplessly, hoping he would drop it.  Of course he didn’t.   Seven times now, she realised a beat later.  Enough to notice how he managed to curve his lips around the single syllable of her name. 

“Now you pretend to know what to do with a sick person.”

He had no right to catch the - admittedly very light - textbook she tossed at him.  “Fine.  Quiz me.  Chapter eight.

They went back and forth:  him questioning, her answering, and him adding to or asking her to add to her answer.  Very rarely did he correct her.  He was always asking for more, and she knew it was more complicated than the examples in the book, or even the practice questions that had been given for the exam.

She thought she was wrong at first, but eventually she knew it for sure - Ren was shivering.  He was also slowing down, voracious attempts to push her falling into more mundane questions.

“You want a sweater?” she finally asked as he huddled in on himself to find his dress shirt offered no more warmth.

“Yes,” he conceded.  “But I should probably leave.”

“You will find it is actually even colder outside,” she informed him as she walked away, taking the stairs two at a time as always.

Part of her wanted to grab Poe’s neon orange sweater.  If she got a picture of Ren wearing it, Poe might even forgive her for lending it to him sometime within the next decade.  Instead she settled on the old blue hoodie she stole so often from Finn that it mostly belonged to her anyway.

Ren was hovering at the foot of the stairs when she came back, oxfords neatly laced on his feet once again.

“Here,” she offered the hoodie to him.  He looked at it as if it was found wanting, but need outweighed pride and he shrugged into it.  The sleeves were a bit short, but it would do better.

“I’ll bring it back,” he told her.

She shook her head quickly.  “No, I can get it from you on campus sometime.”

He grinned darkly.  “Don’t want your sidekicks knowing I was here?”

She ignored him, walking towards the door.  “You going to make it okay?”

“The Nine bus stops just outside of my apartment building.  I think I can manage.”

“Good,” she nodded, awkwardness finding her again. 

He opened the door for himself, casting his eyes over her again.  “Rey?”

That made eight.  If he kept this up, she’d have no more fingers left.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” he told her warmly, almost wistfully before he slunk through the open door, leaving it for her to close behind him.  She hoped he didn’t notice her leaving it open, watching as he made his way across the street.  She really hoped he didn’t look up as he waited down the road.  She lost that hope when he looked out the bus window, seeing her still keeping an eye on him as it pulled away.  He gave a small wave of recognition with his hand, which she returned without thinking.

 

* * *

 

“Hey!”  Finn called as Rey plucked his sweater from the back of his chair.

“What?  I’m cold and you aren’t using it,” she waved dismissively.

“What about the old blue hoodie you stole?  Wear that,” he grumbled as she put her new conquest on.

“It’s in the laundry,” she lied quickly.

“No it isn’t,” Poe objected amusedly, appearing with a basket of clean clothes and a wondering expression.

Both her roommates levelled her with accusing curiosity.

“Did you want some more room at the table?” she asked Finn, moving to clear her books farther out of the way.

“ _Rey_ ,” Poe all but whined.

Finn knelt down, picking up a small piece of paper that had fallen from one of Rey’s books.

“What?” he gasped, holding the offending scrap as if it were a branding iron. 

Poe all but dropped the hamper and dashed to see what Finn had.  “ _What?_ ” Poe echoed.

Rey joined them cautiously, completely unsure of what in her notes would have prompted that reaction from her friends.

But it wasn’t her notes.  It was a phone number, written in a large, loopy scrawl.  A loopy scrawl that Finn obviously remembered - possibly still had flashbacks about.

Oh dear… Well, she hadn’t thought of how to work this part of the story out...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had not meant for this to be more than a oneshot, but so many people asked so kindly and then I had an idea... So here it is! Thank you for all the wonderful words on the first part of this! These two really are too fun to play with.

The preening git was smiling at her - actually, that wasn’t a real smile.  Kylo Ren’s full lips were pulled into far too uneven of a curve for it to be considered a smile.  No, he was smirking across the room like the cat who caught the canary and was smug about the feathers that still peppered his snout.  Not a single damn given that he’d been found out at all.

But that would make her the canary, and she certainly was _not_ caught.

Maybe Ren really was part cat, though, given that the death glares Poe and Finn were levelling him with probably were costing more than a few lives.  Finn in particular seemed to be trying to choke Ren with nothing more than sheer mental might.

Just seeing Ren was usually enough for some venom to be shot in his direction - he had such a way with people...  But today of course he was wearing the stupid blue hoodie she’d loaned him, on campus for all to see, waiting in the line at the coffee shop tucked into a corner of Montferrat Memorial Library.

If this was what happened from being a good person, maybe she ought to rethink it in the future.   Burying her nose in the notes spread out before her wasn’t really helping.  She didn’t need to _see_ the looks, she could bloody well _feel_ them.  Which was why it was odd as Poe and Finn’s ire slowly seemed to be directed towards _her_.

“Guys, seriously if you tell me that I need to get my head checked out one more time-”

A cup being placed right next to her elbow silenced her, and a warmed piece of material being draped around her shoulders nearly shocked her enough to sock Kylo bloody Ren in his pretty damn face.

So that was why their gaze had shifted.  They were keeping their eyes on the mark.

“Regular tea with milk, and the return of the hoodie,” he spoke casually, pretending to be oblivious or maybe impervious to the venom being shot at him.  “Thanks again for the other day, Rey.”  With that the man of nine lives strutted away, coffee cup in hand.  Several sets of eyes followed him out, some with envy, some with want, and in the case of her two idiot best friends - with murder.

“You know what, Poe?”  Finn asked through a schooled straight face.

“What, Finn?”

“We get this really great health insurance as part of our student fees - it covers visits-”

Rey stood up abruptly, effectively cutting Finn off and earning her some disapproving looks from other students she ignored.  “I forgot a book I need at home.  I’ll see you both later,” she half lied.  She _did_ need a book that was sitting on her bed, but she could have done without it for a while yet.

“Rey,” Poe started kindly while she was shoving her bag full.  “He’s an ass, and that is putting it nicely.  We just worry about you.”

“You say that like I somehow hadn’t noticed,” she muttered.  “Finn cried on two people’s shoulders after that disaster of an exam, and mine was one of them.  I also still remember the bill for all the ice cream and chocolate it took to make him a functional human being again.”  She made to leave, slinging the offending hoodie over her arm and picking up the paper cup Ren had set in front of her.  No sense in letting it go to waste.

“Are you gonna wash that when you get home?  Or burn it?” Finn was now staring at the hoodie as if it had been a willing accomplice in a major crime spree, liable to taint them by its very presence. 

Almost to spite them both, Rey set her bag down and shrugged the - still warm - hoodie on, holding her arms out and plastering an exaggerated look of surprise on her face.  “Oh look, I have not been corrupted by the will of evil.  I must be strong to resist the dark peacock’s primal powers,” she jeered sarcastically, earning her a reluctant huff of laughter from them both.

“Can you feed Bebe when you get home?  There’s an open tin of cat food in the fridge to mix in with the dry stuff,” Poe asked.  “I have a feeling we’ll be late tonight.”

“Yeah, of course.  See you guys later,” Rey said again, a bit more kindly.  Missing a meal probably wouldn’t have hurt Poe’s adorable if overweight cat, but the devastated face and the miserable noises that followed would have hurt Rey’s soul.  She also knew what it was like to miss a meal or two.  That was not a fate she’d allow anyone to share if she could help it, be they man or beast. 

Whether the boys were going to be late because of Poe’s devotion to maintain his average and thus his scholarship from the Air Force, or because he had _other_ plans for Finn was not for Rey to say.  Taking the room in the farthest corner of the house had been a good attempt at foresight on her part, but sadly the walls of their tiny home were decidedly less than soundproof.

“Try not to be seduced by any tall dark strangers on the way home,” Finn half teased, half warned as she left.

“I was _not seduced_.  He was a wreck.  I let him sit on our couch. He helped me study then went home. End. Of. Story.  For something like the twentieth time.”  She marched away, calling back in the loudest appropriate tone for a common space in a library.  “If you see me wearing all black later, you’ll know the hoodie is cursed and can say that you told me so.”

Fall bit into her briskly as she left the building, making her happy for the oversized hoodie she was now sporting.  That hadn’t been how she was planning to get it back, but better not to look a gift horse in the mouth, right?  Finn and Poe had already been relentless, only partially joking when announced that they would need to exorcise the couch Ren had occupied.

Bebe greeted her with the usual chipper and odd noises when she made it home, tailing her into the kitchen and weaving through her legs as she opened the fridge.  “You haven’t noticed a problem with the couch since he sat on it, have you?  You’d know if it was cursed - cats are good with all that magical stuff in the stories,” she mused as the feline in question eviscerated the helpless food without any comments or concerns.

Shortly after spreading her work across the small desk that she had stuffed into her tiny bedroom, her text tone went off, drawing her attention.  It was from Finn.

 

_Did you make it or do we need to stage a rescue effort?_

 

She groaned, grinding her teeth as she replied.

 

_I managed to fend for myself thanks.  The monster that leapt_

_from the trees by Mrs. Noble’s house almost had me but_

_I was able to summon the power of my ancient ancestors_

_and prevailed in the end_

 

Either Finn failed to think of a witty retort, or he went back to whatever he had been busy with before.  Rearranging the growing spread on her desk, a slip of paper caught her eye, a slip that Finn and Poe both believed had been thrown out, or burned, or flushed down the drain. Basically that it had suffered any other fate than being carefully stowed in the plastic lip of her fluid dynamics binder.  Ren’s writing flew off of the page at her, and she chewed her lip, debating with herself before pulling her phone out.  “Black Coffee” seemed an innocuous enough contact name, with her better judgement still holding enough sense not to put Kylo bloody Ren’s number in her phone under his actual name. 

 

_Are you trying to get me kicked out of my own house?_

 

His reply was almost immediate.

 

_I would ask who this is, but I can only think of one person’s ever_

_kind and courteous housemates that were trying to kill me with_

_telekinesis on this otherwise fine day.  Hello, Rey._

 

_Were someone else’s roommates trying to kill you_

_by other means?_

 

_No, fortunately for me. I am rather impervious to telepathy but_

_vulnerable to blades and bullets, especially silver ones.  I avoid holy_

_water but that is more of a personal choice than a dietary requirement._

 

Before she had finished reading the text, another followed.

 

_I hadn’t expected to run into you Three Musketeers in Montferrat._

_That isn’t usually a popular spot for undergrads._

 

From someone else, that might almost sound like an apology of sorts.  Perhaps it was as close as Ren got?  Further inciting her roommates had been somewhat _accidental_ then.

 

_Finding a seat in Ackbar is almost as lucrative as winning_

_the lottery during midterm season. You have to make do_

_with what you can find_

 

_Ah, I see.  The perks of having an office?_

_No more fighting for campus space._

 

_Thank you for lording that over us mortals_

 

_You know who else gets to use my office?_

 

_No but you’re going to tell me_

 

_My research assistant._

 

_There is a desk and shelves and everything._

_We even have a kettle. No need to leave the office for tea._

 

She scowled at the screen, shoving her phone away, regretting her decision to text him at all.  It was one thing for him to give her his number, but now he had hers.  She shuddered, imagining all the ways he could bother her now whenever he damn well pleased.  A half an hour later, her phone lit up again, with an unread message from “Black Coffee.”

 

_Have a good day, Rey._

 

Her reply was hesitant, eyes darting over the two tiny words several times before finally sending them.  It was only polite after all, wasn’t it?

 

_You too._

 

The fear of him intruding on her seemed to be unfounded.  Three days of silence, no summons to any satanic rituals, no harassment about joining him as his research assistant, not even a hello. 

Somehow it was her that broke the silence, feeling bored and alone during a break in a marathon night class. Poe and Finn had excused themselves to get the three of them hot drinks to help tide them over during the last hour of class.

 

_Does Resdox drone on in the same monotonous tone forever_

_and ever in his grad seminar? Or is that just special treatment_

_reserved for the younger masses..._

 

_No, he’s pretty bad with us too, but you come to appreciate_

_the blowhards sometimes when there are only a handful of_

_you cooped up together and you know half your classmates_

_haven’t touched the readings._

 

_Hmm, yeah that would be different_

 

_You should sit in on a seminar sometime - I’m sure one_

_of the profs in the department would be happy to let you_

_if you asked.  Or I could always ask.  They *love*_

_showing off to prospective graduate students._

 

_They love showing off?  Or you do?_

 

_I wouldn’t even be in the class if you didn’t want me to be._

 

_I got a long way to go in this degree_

_before I could even think about another one._

 

Worse yet, she had a long way to go to _pay_ for this degree before she could think about another one.  Scholarship money only went so far.

 

_I have no doubt you will earn this one with honours, Rey._

_You really are quite brilliant, and better yet you work hard._

 

In a traitorous action, her cheeks flushed slightly, just in time for Finn and Poe to wander down the hall towards her, coffees in his hand.

 

_Break is over_

 

She jotted off quickly, making both an excuse for her absence and why she made no reply to the overly glowing compliment.  Hopefully he would forget that she hadn’t properly replied, or at least she could feign not remembering after getting out of class.

The next morning she was helping Finn root through all of his pockets and turning most of the house upside down, on the hunt for a missing flash drive that of course had the only copy of a seminar presentation on it he desperately needed.  She was halfway inside the coat closet when her phone went off.

 

_Heads up that Snoke delegated his other Ph.D. candidate (Hux) to_

_cover your class with Prof Emmatt.  You may already know but he is_

_less than pleasant to deal with if you don’t show up overly early to_

_things. Don’t be that person who walks into class right on time_

_today – or worse: LATE._

_I almost pity whoever does._

 

“Shit…” she mumbled under her breath, checking her watch.  She had about three minutes to get out the door before she would be _that_ person.  The great flash drive hunt had really slowed her down.

“Found it!” Poe’s triumphant voice carried from upstairs.  Finn cried out in relief somewhere by the washing machine, and the three nearly collided at the base of the stairs.  Rey clapped Finn on the shoulders before gently shoving him aside, taking the steps two at a time.

“What’s got you so riled up?”  Poe called.

“Hux is covering for Ematt.  Remember what happened to Testor when he guest- lectured one of her classes and she walked in a minute late?” 

“Ohhh…”  Both the boys’ voices shuddered.  Rey had her bag over her shoulder and was fishing out a jacket before either of them had taken more than a couple steps.

“How’d you find out?  Didn’t think you really knew anybody in Ematt’s course,” Poe mused carefully.

“Gotta go.”  It was a logical escape owing to her newfound hurry.  But she was going to have to be careful about any future information that was slipped her way.

Rey might have felt sorry for the jock that strutted in late to class with coffee in hand if that same hand hadn’t once tried to “encourage _”_ her to sit with him instead of her friends at the campus pub’s trivia night.  Hux’s words may not have left the same bruise her heel had on his shin, but they probably damaged some part of his man pride.

 

_Didn’t have time to reply before, but THANK YOU_

 

She shot off quickly after class, brain swimming with all of the political rhetoric Hux had somehow managed to work into their lecture.

 

_You are most welcome._

 

_No need to feel sorry for the idiot who showed_

_up late with fancy expensive coffee_

 

_Oh? Not one of your more esteemed fellows then?_

 

_He’s has a limited understanding of what the_

_word ‘no’ means_

 

 

_I’m sorry you seem run into so many idiots, Rey.  I must_

_say though that watching you deck Kaplan was an_

_honour and pleasure._

 

_I thought you were going to ream me out at the_

_very least for that, if not turn me over to Snoke…_

 

_You were standing up for yourself.  I was coming over_

_to ream Kaplan out; you just beat me to the punch in_

_the most literal way possible._

 

_Do you know that you are terrifying to see looming_

_towards you?  And I do mean properly scary_

 

_Oddly enough I have heard that before.  You don’t need to be_

_scared of me, Rey.  Or at least I don’t want you to be._

 

That sounded too much like an affirmation of those words he had spoken before, about him not being untouchable to _her_. 

After the drama of Finn’s missing flash drive, Rey’s close call with Hux, and the general cheer of a Friday night, Poe insisted that a few rounds were in order.  Large helpings of pasta, salad and a few beers later, the boys were mostly asleep in a heap on the couch, with Rey sitting against it on the floor, still half watching the old movie Poe had so loudly advocated for.  Rey chuckled as one of them let out a loud snore: for all the noise the boys had made over the damage Ren had wrought on their couch, they really didn’t seem all that affected by it.

It was the kind of movie that was only entertaining if you were less than sober and had company to make fun of it with.  Rey met the first part of the qualification, but was currently deprived of the latter.  She tugged out her phone, an idea coming to mind.  A more rational voice protested that this was probably a bad idea, but some questions that are best not asked seem incredibly important and suddenly tangible when the mind has ventured into a tipsy state.  

 

_Why did you leave your number in my notes?_

 

Ren’s response was quick but not immediate, leaving Rey almost dozing against the arm of the couch.

 

_I thought you might want to talk sometime._

_Evidently I was correct._

Smug bastard...

 

 

_No fun activities planned for this fine evening?  Three Musketeers_

_Not enjoying the freedom of a Friday night?_

 

_Two of them are already passed out on the couch_

_as a result of an overabundance of carbs, cheap_

_beer, long week and a bad movie_

 

_Ah. Feeling lonely, Rey?_

 

The question bothered her more than it should have.

 

_What makes you say that??_

 

_Call it my knack for insightful intuition._

 

 

_You talk to me when you are by yourself and_

_ignore me when you get uncomfortable._

 

_You did the same thing when I was in your house._

 

 

_Can you really say that I am wrong?_

 

_And oh look, I’m ignoring you now_ , Rey thought bitterly, shoving her phone in a too small jean pocket and hauling herself up.  If the boys wanted to doze she was not going to stop them - sleep was often an underappreciated commodity in school until it became woefully lacking in supply.  There were dishes to do, and Poe had failed in his duty to sweep around Bebe’s box yet again.

A light rap at the door almost startled her enough to drop both the broom and dustpan, just catching the broom by the handle before it clattered to the floor.  She dashed through the house, briefly eyeing her roommates who appeared oblivious to the disruption.

Opening the door set a scowl to her face, as a self-satisfied, greyscale-clad peacock stood on her stoop, hand that was poised to knock again instead moving to run its way through his damn hair.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed at him.

His crooked grin stayed in place as he fished a list out of his pocket for her to see.

“Who does errands on a Friday night?” She shooed him back, stepping over the stoop and shutting the door behind them, intending to prevent both his murder and her eviction should the boys wake up.

“Asks the girl who ran to the door armed with a broom,” he retorted smoothly.

She twirled it between her fingers, trying to look stern.  “For all you know this could be my weapon of choice in case of attempted burglary or home invasion.” 

He pretended to consider her potential level of threat seriously for a moment.  “Well a pole arm would give you a better reach,” he joked lightly.

She bristled for a moment before continuing.  “This isn’t a store, so that list still doesn’t explain why you are _here_ , just why you are out.”

“I was coming from campus and figured I would check in on my way by,” he shrugged.

“Check in?”

“Your roommates aren’t cognisant and you were tipsy enough to ask me a meaningful question. I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

“You could have just texted.”

“Yes, because you answered the last one in such depth and detail,” he deadpanned with a souring expression. 

He let her stand there, gripping the broom handle tightly and staring at his feet.  It was a different pair of shoes than the ones she’d chased him off before.

“What do you want from me, Rey?” he finally added, in a quieter but harder tone. “You make a point of saying how much people _dislike_ you associating with me, implying that you shouldn’t be talking to me – but then you _do_.  So if I am something to hide, something that makes your _friends_ so notably upset, why do you do it?  What are you looking for?”

“What do _you_ want?” she threw back quickly.  “Sometimes you seem to be offering me a job, or trying to headhunt me for your precious supervisor and the graduate department.  Other times you-” the flush that crept up on her was unplanned and unwanted.

“Other times I _what_ , Rey?” he asked, rocking back slightly on his heels and squaring his shoulders.

Her eyes widened as she realised: she’d lost count.  The times her name had passed his lips was now beyond her reckoning, and that was… odd.  She heard it in her head when reading his messages with the same cadence and tone he used in person, somehow managing to inflect over that tiny syllable. 

“Rey?  You talking to someone?”  Finn’s sleep thick voice called from inside.

Ren flashed a glare through the window, shoving his hands in his pockets, watching her intently.  “And now you want your tall, dark secret to vanish I presume?” he huffed, bitterness rising in his tone.

“I– but you –” Her voice and thoughts were stumbling as if it was treading on shifting ground.  Tall and dark?  Fine, no one would argue that. 

Hers?  _No_.  Definitely not. 

But she had carried him like a secret voice, masking his name even from herself.  For all his reputation as a pompous arse, and all she _knew_  it to be well earned, he had listened to her, answered her, let her go when she ran from him – and let her come quietly back again on her own terms.

There was no running from the gaze she was under now, though, as the seconds ticked away almost audibly in her silence until Ren finally shattered it.  “Yeah, that’s what I thought, Rey.  Don’t worry, I know my own way out.” 

His voice cut in tandem with the daggers in his eyes as he turned on his heel and marched away, leaving her still stuttering over the unforgiving landscape of her own thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... Hi everyone...
> 
> Wow. I was blown away by the response that Luminoustigress' comic got on Tumblr and the traffic it brought back to what I had kind of consigned as a long lost idea. A huge thank you once again for the beautiful and spot on comic, which can be found here: http://luminoustigress.tumblr.com/post/166800506446/so-this-comic-is-based-on-a-scene-from-chapter-two. Between that, and all the wonderful comments that folks have left it really encouraged me to remember that I do enjoy writing, a fact that grad school had mostly beaten out of me by the time I finished.
> 
> Hopefully this chapter doesn't come off as too overly silly, but, it was an idea I couldn't let go once I had it. And yes, I heartily take Millicent the Cat as headcanon. Hux is definitely a cat person.

_Knock knock knock_.

Jolting from under a nested pile of blankets was never the best way to wake up, especially after one had drifted to sleep with the sweet knowledge that an alarm would _not_ be their greeting to the next day.

_Knock knock knock._

“Rey?” Poe’s tone had that note of forced calm, instantly alerting her that something was wrong.

“What’s going on? Is the house on fire?” she asked thickly, trying to blink sleep from her eyes.

“Have you seen Bebe?”

“No…I’ve been asleep,” she replied, wrapping the easiest to grab blanket around her shoulders and opening her door a crack.

Poe was shuffling on the spot, hair a mess and stubble prominent on his chin. “So you never saw Bebe last night before you went to bed?”

“No, Be usually sleeps in your room and you clocked out before I did last night.”

Poe nodded, Finn appearing up the stairs and putting a kind hand on Poe’s shoulder, “Doesn’t look like our feline compatriot came back last night.”

That was an oddity. The loyalty between Poe and his cat was as adorable as it was constant.  Bebe never missed a curfew, and usually didn’t really wander that far away from the house anyway since it was too much effort.

Rey took a deep breath, rubbing at her eyes again. “Okay, I’ve got some books to take back to Ackbar anyway. I’ll get dressed and start looking outside on my way to campus. At least one of you should stay here in case Be toddles home, the other can start looking around the rest of the neighbourhood.”

Both boys nodded, Poe looking much better for having something to do other than worry.  He clapped Finn on the back before dashing off to his room, assumedly taking the role of the other search and rescuer.

“Text me if somebody turns anything up,” she told Finn before disappearing back into her room.

Zig-zagging through side streets, up a few driveways and strolling down a couple questionable allies made the walk to Ackbar take far longer than usual, but more importantly turned up no sign of the overweight orange and white tabby.

She did catch a glimpse of a monochromatic peacock, just for a moment, strutting as if he owned the building he was walking into, but that was rather par for the course for the dark one in his natural habitat. Her pace jumped to a quick-march, ducking her head in case he happened to turn around. Not that ducking would have accomplished much, but it made her feel better for having tried.

_What do you want from me, Rey?_

Those stupid words and the expression that accompanied them persistently dogged at the back of her mind. Really, it was a question that was probably best left unanswered. Ren was - well, confusing at best and a problem at worst.  She _liked_ talking to him, came some quiet and unwanted confession yet again. Sometimes at least.

Dropping her books into the return chute and turning on her heel, she tried to think of what her next move could be in the far more pressing concern of locating Bebe. Her steps came to a sudden halt at a rush of pathetic and strange meowing warbles up and off to her left.  Following the noise, Rey’s eyes landed on a large maple tree, following its branches until she found the source.

Bebe:  stuck in the damn tree, huddled in a branch amongst the resplendently yellowing orange leaves.  

“How the hell did you get up there?  Half the time you beg for help to make it up to the back of the couch!” The cat’s reply came in more yelping meows and pleading eyes.

Rey dropped her bag, inspecting the trunk of the tree, trying to find a handhold low enough for her to reach. No good, though. She needed a ladder or someone tall for a boost.

Someone _tall_..?

Oh, that was a horrible idea. Really, it was a bloody stupid idea. She knew one veritable giant was on campus, one veritable giant who she _could_ ask for help. Bebe’s safety came before anything else right now. She could deal with a moody peacock later if she had to. A further unwanted image of Poe and Finn’s glowering eyes flashed in her mind as she pulled out her phone.

_Are you on campus?_

She knew he was. But he didn’t need to know that.

Bebe continued to warble sadly while she paced in front of the tree, waiting for a reply and _really_ hoping this wouldn’t require help from the maintenance department.  She could see the looks on their salty and overworked faces now if she asked for help getting a cat down from a tree.

_Yes. Why?_

_I need a tall person_

_Flattered to be your first call for that particular need. Why?_

 

Rey gritted her teeth.  So many questions.

_It’ll be easier to show you_

_Please Ren?_

She added the second message hastily, biting her lip even as she saw it appear on her screen.

_Where are you?_

_The big maple tree between Massa and Ozzel_

 

_Be there in five._

 

_Hopefully your housemates aren’t setting an ambush as_

_we speak and using your phone to lure me into a trap._

 

His estimated time of arrival was almost spot on. Curiosity lit his eyes as he strode off the bricked pathway and towards her.  He followed her gaze to the noise and let out an indignant huff. “Your cat is stuck in a tree?” 

“No, my _roommate’s_ cat is stuck in a tree.”

He let out a deep laugh, shaking his head before eyeing her intently.  “You are asking _me_ to help one of the idiots who despise me?”

“No, I am asking you to help an innocent cat that doesn’t share an owner’s acrimonious opinions of you. Not Bebe’s fault Poe thinks you’re an arse.” She gestured sharply at him.  “You earned that title all on your own. I can’t get him down alone, so right now what I _want_ from you is a boost up this stupid tree.”

Instead of cowing him in the slightest, her bristling tone and aggressive posture seemed to light him up, bringing an all too uneven curve to his pouty lips.  “The tree seems to be in more danger of damage than the cat.  I’m surprised the branch hasn’t given out already.”

Bebe seemed to know insults were being thrown, changing to an aggravated hiss from the previous pleas for help.

“I can’t reach the lowest branch.  Can you just give me a lift?” Rey asked, dropping her eyes.  Looking him in the face was not an option here.

“How are you going to climb back down carrying a metric ton of cat?”

“Carefully,” she answered sarcastically.

Ren shook his head.  “You’d have one hand at best.”

“ _Very_ carefully,” she amended blithely.

Something that sounded like a growl rumbled under his breath and a hand raked errantly through his hair. “Rey, if I help you up and then you fall and hurt yourself, your sidekicks really will murder me.  And I’d sort of deserve it at that point.”

She started at him. “You’d sort of deserve it?”

He stuffed his hands into his pockets, bowing his elbows out in an exaggerated shrug.  “I’d have done something to hurt you. That is what they think I’ll do to you, isn’t it?”

“They seem to think you are going to seduce me and win me over to the ways of evil and darkness - also leach all of the colours from my wardrobe,” she muttered indignantly.

“Seduce you, eh?”

Despite her previous mental quips about him being part cat, she _really_ had not been serious.  Ren was a human - he had no right to be able to almost _purr_ words at her. The glower that set in her face was as instant as the heat she could feel tingling at her cheeks.  “We have an innocent cat stranded in a tree, and this is a rescue. Shut up,” she snipped. “If you aren’t going to help then forget I asked. I’ll do this myself.”

“Rey,” he sighed. “I’ll help you, but we need a better idea than me hefting you up in a tree and leaving you no way down.”

“What if we had a way to lower him?” she asked, brain tumbling through the idea even as she spoke the words.

“That could work - some kind of sling to put him in and a rope to lower it.”  He nodded.

“I could climb up with the sling and rope; we use a branch as the fulcrum and you lower him down from the ground.”

Ren nodded.  “Good plan.”

She let out a surprised laugh, prompting a look of confusion from hm. “You’d think we were into engineering or something, using simple machines to solve problems,” she almost teased.  

His response was a crooked half grin. “Stay here and make sure that the tree doesn’t get hurt. Pretty sure Hux is in today, and I know for a fact he keeps several bungee cords in his car and probably a length of rope.”

Now it was Rey’s turn to be confused.  “Really?  Why?”

His voice dropped to that infuriating purr again, lowering it like he was sharing a secret.  Which did entirely unforgivable things to Rey’ stomach.  “He also has an icepick, a flare, thermal blanket and enough tinned food to make full caloric intake for three days - not to mention a basic field medic kit.  I think it’s in case of emergency, but you never know with Hux.”  That stupid crooked smirk appeared.  “I stopped asking questions a long time ago.” Ren shook his head.

“He’s an ass - why would he help?” Rey asked without thinking.

His eyebrow quirked.  “Your friends all think _I_ am an ass. But look at me here, _helping_.”

“Yeah, but you’re-”

Her mouth snapped shut.  Was she really about to end that with _not_?

The knowing look he gave her as hastily departed to fetch Hux seemed to get her meaning.  Making her want to amend that sentence to _Yeah, but you’re a_ tall _ass_.

In short order, a very irate ginger trailed Ren back towards the tree. Hux’s mouth was flying a mile a minute, oblivious or uncaring that Ren didn’t seem to be listening. He had a coil of brightly coloured rope in his hand, though, so the first mission of this quest had successfully been completed.

“Ren often has all the subtlety of a lightning strike, and I don’t know much about you beyond what I hear from him, which I consider to be unreliable and biased at best. I figured someone should oversee this properly for the sake of the cat,” Hux announced unasked from behind crossed arms.

“Thank you for caring?” Rey tried in response. Hux ignored her completely, continuing his march towards the tree and speaking softly up to Bebe.

“I didn’t ask him to join us,” Ren sighed apologetically before peeling off the charcoal sweater he had on, leaving him in an - unsurprisingly - even darker sleeveless shirt.  It was not the first time Rey was afforded the… _opportunity_ … to appraise Ren in a more exposed state, though typically these moments had occurred at a much greater distance.  Objectively speaking, she could understand how this might contribute to the _appreciation_ she saw in some and the blatant come-ons she heard from others.

Objectively, of course.

“You’re going to freeze,” Rey tried to tell him as her cheeks took an opposite approach to temperature, warming to an unfortunate degree.

“I promise not to,” he mused with an overly cocky grin. Rey snatched the sweater from him, tying a series of knots on the sleeves and bottom edges to form their makeshift sling.

At the base of the tree, Hux was still saying what he must have thought were soothing words to the ever- warbling Bebe. Ren dropped to a crouch as Rey approached, waiting until he met what must have been her unsure eyes. “Sit on my shoulders.  I can lift you up more easily that way,” he explained slowly.

Her eyebrows flew up to her hairline.

_Sit on him? Sit _on_ him?  Sit on _him_? _

Nope, no matter how you phrased that question, it did not improve.

He held up a hand for her to balance on as she tried to think of anything except for the fact that she was lowering herself onto Kylo bloody Ren’s broadly sculpted bloody shoulders.  

“Ready?”  Ren asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

He rose slowly, grip tight just above her knee.

“Can you reach a branch?”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to help by giving you a boost, okay?  On one, two, three-”

Rey hauled herself up at the same time Ren shifted his grip, hefting her higher.  Climbing was easy once she had something to pull and push herself off of, and in no time she was level with Bebe.  Coaxing him into the sweater-turned-cat lift was more difficult, but eventually she gave up on gentleness and shoved him in, ignoring the squawks of protest from both orange tabby and orange human alike.

Rey tightened the slip knots and gave Ren the thumbs up.  He picked up the slack on the rope, which Rey used to ease Bebe off of the branch.  A great deal of yelping, mewling and various noises coming from Hux later, Be was back on terra firma.  

Hux swooped in to take the struggling cat from Ren, yanking off the knots and _cuddling_ Bebe close, still wrapped up in Ren’s sweater.  The sweet nothings Hux seemed to be saying to Bebe made Rey almost wonder if she _had_ fallen, hit her head and was now having hallucinations. Ren’s startled expression told her he was probably thinking the same thing.

Rey dropped the line down off the tree branch before beginning her descent. “Careful,” Ren called this time, a direction of soft caution rather than a command.

Halfway down, a roiled, seething hiss from Bebe startled her, breaking her concentration, and, much more worriedly, her grip.

She let out an entirely undignified yelp as she slipped and a groan as she landed in a heap. Not on the ground, thankfully, but on Kylo bloody Ren, who had his arms very tightly around her after catching her, breaking her fall and toppling them both in the process.

She must have gotten the wind knocked out of her.  That was the only possible explanation for why she was currently staring, unblinking into his brown eyes that were definitely _not_ soulful.

“See?  I’m all right,” she said somewhat dumbly.

“I’m glad of this,” he murmured.

“So no need for Poe or Finn to murder you then.”

She felt his chuckle before she heard it, a quick rumble that came from deep in his chest.  “I am glad of this on both counts.”   

An indignant yowl followed by a yelp broke whatever trance she’d been in, and she bounded to her feet.

“What did you do to him?” Rey almost growled at Hux.

“Nothing!”  Rey could feel even Ren giving him the side-eye.  “Well - I give Millie tummy rubs to calm her down sometimes – the motion is quite soothing for some felines, did you know?  But, well…apparently not _all_ felines.”  Hux huffed at her, placing Bebe into her outstretched arms somewhat reluctantly. Trying to extricate Be from the sweater was another matter.

“No no, keep him wrapped up, we need to avoid any shock from what must already be a traumatic experience,” Hux ordered.

“But it’s Ren’s-”

“It’s fine. I can get it back later,” Ren told her carefully, waiting to see how she would respond.

Bring the lost cat home wrapped up in Ren’s sweater - well, how could _that_ possibly go wrong?  Also, taking it meant seeing him again to give it back… Though…she could always leave it in a bag on his office’s door handle or something.  Take the easy, not-actually-seeking-out-the-dark-peacock route.

“Okay,” she finally said quietly, barely hearing Hux’s needling to make sure Bebe was eating properly after this ordeal and something-er-other else before beginning to march away. He looked over his shoulder expectedly at Ren.

“Stop staring at the girl, Ren. We have a meeting with Snoke that both of us ought to be preparing for.”

The dark one appeared ready to argue, before Hux shot him a look that brokered no argument. Rey seized the opportunity. “Thank you,” she muttered at Hux, having no idea what his first name was and not really wanting to call him just “Hux” to his face like Ren did. “Ren, thank you,”  Her voice came more softly then she’d have liked, daring to look at him briefly before setting off, leaving him no time to reply and an insistent Hux calling for his attention.

She had only a moment of breath when she came in the door before Poe crashed into her with a one armed hug - his other arm curling around Bebe. There was a blathering of gratitude, followed by relieved noises from Finn somewhere in the background.

Bebe finally began wriggling, and Poe stepped back, releasing him from his sweater-bound confines. The commotion left Rey ample opportunity to covertly snatch up the sweater as after Be was freed, he led an all-too-eager Poe and Finn to the kitchen, campaign for missed meals already in full swing. 

Her phone was almost in her hand to let Ren know that Be had made it home safely, and that his appetite had certainly not been affected by the ordeal. Instead she beat a hasty retreat, shaking the sweater out gently to try to lessen the orange and white hairs that now covered part of it. She hid the evidence under her bed, making a mental note to wash it when the boys were next out before she figured out how to return it.

In a bag on his office door would be how, of course, because she definitely did _not_ need to see him.

_Again_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A further thank you goes to my much needed and eternally appreciated beta, D_Veleniet, it is fantastic to be working together again! I would likely have retired my quill (keyboard?) long ago without you to keep me going at it. Sorry not sorry for dragging you into Reylo Hell with me, friend. ;)


End file.
